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saying to Aileen, “Now keep your feet together. Hold your hands in your lap. Compose your face into a perfect smile - not too jolly, but just a smile. Just look straight ahead and don't vary the expression. We'll keep perfectly dumb and perfectly pleasant.”

My only fear was that if I saw something coming toward me, I would duck, which I think is a very undignified act, but it's sort of an automatic gesture that you make. I was only afraid that I wouldn't be able to keep looking straight ahead if I saw an egg and a tomato coming. You were just supposed to let it hit you, sitting perfectly still. You certainly don't duck. What an undignified, ignoble and inappropriate thing that is. If the lower orders of society wish to throw things at you, don't be upset. I recognized that as an old-fashioned aristocratic attitude. My grandmother would have told me that. I just had the instinct. Aileen and I encouraged each other to hold our heads perfectly straight and not bend them if we saw a tomato coming towards us.

Benediction was over and Harry Hawes rose to speak. He was going to speak first. He was a great, thunderous political orator. He made a very good rolling speech, but he made the mistake - at least I've always thought it was a